Real Estate Information Archive

LIGHTEN UP!

Ever feel yourself getting perturbed by something that happens during your day? Ever have the urge to say something about it, when silence might be the best approach? Perhaps you feel the need to make a judgment about each situation that arises

Maybe it's time to slow down a bit. As the song says, "Don't worry - be happy!" The truth is - none of us have the right to judge others, nor their actions. We can control only one thing - our own actions. If there is something to be judged, it would be our reaction to things that happen, not the events themselves.

In Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits," Habit #5 says, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." In explaining, Covey states that "People do not see the world as it is; they see it as they are - or as they have been conditioned to be." He goes on to make the simple statement that "When you understand, you don't judge."

Once you take the time to understand each situation, there is no longer a need to judge. Interestingly, when others realize that you no longer make those judgments, you will find that they no longer judge you either.

Want to free yourself from being disturbed about the events of the day? Just follow the advice of Epictetus, who said, "When considering the future, remember that all situations unfold as they do regardless of how we feel about them. Our hopes and fears sway us, not events themselves."

NO FEAR!

A well-known motivational speaker once said, "No one knows enough to be a pessimist." He also quoted statistics showing that a very high percentage of the things we worry about are either A) things that never happen, or B) things over which we have no control anyway. His point? Not only do we not have enough information to justify our worries, we also are virtually unable to alter the outcome of most situations.

Our worst fears are generally of the unknown (not enough information). Our imagination runs wild, conjuring up worst-case scenarios. We become fearful, anxious, and even overwhelmed - yet the source of our fear is non-existent (except in our minds).

"Think you can - think you can't - either way you're right."

"As a man thinketh, so is he."

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."

In other words, by your thoughts alone, you control the outcome. Although there exist many risks to our peace-of-mind during this uncertain time, we still have the ability to pursue our very best hopes and dreams. We may find that their achievement requires more effort than usual. Doubt may creep in. Nevertheless, as you have heard many times, "It's all in your head."

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TODAY?

Microsoft uses that slogan to convince you that with their software you can head in any direction you please. Earl Nightingale, one of the great motivational speakers, said it better. "Imagine that you are the captain of a great ocean-going vessel," he suggests. "Before even leaving the harbor, you lay out plans for your voyage. Using maps, you choose a destination, then employ your navigational skills to arrive safely".

"Without a chosen destination and a map to help you arrive," he continues, "you are akin to a ship without a rudder. If you get out of the harbor at all, you'll probably end up a derelict on some deserted beach."

On this verge of the year 2009, I hope you've decided on a destination for the year and have looked carefully at the map that will take you there. A word of caution is in order. Be careful not to choose too many destinations, meaning don't set too many goals for the year. Including more than a handful of worthy objectives can leave you with maps and navigational instruments strewn all over your desk - resulting in chaos, lack of focus, and questionable navigation.

It's better to have four clearly defined targets for the year, accompanied by a masterful plan for their achievement, than to have only a list of 25 hoped-for achievements. Anthony Robbins suggests the following agenda for achieving your most worthy objectives.

First, write down a "dream inventory" - a list of everything you want to accomplish in 2009. Next choose the four most important major goals. For each of the four make a list of the benefits you will enjoy when you achieve them. Then list all the resources you currently possess which would be of benefit to achieving your major goals, i.e. experience, knowledge, skills, positive attitude, friendliness, perseverance, etc.

Continue by listing the three most successful times in your life. Under each, write down a description of how you felt and acted during those times, i.e. felt invincible, presented a professional image, smiled a lot, wasn't afraid to try a new approach, etc. Next write down the type person you would have to be to achieve your goals, i.e. must be prepared for presentations, must always have confidence, must put others' needs first, must organize my time, etc. Follow this with a list of "What prevents me from achieving this right now." Write down your fears, your lack of action, etc.

Finally, write down the steps you must take to achieve each of the four major goals. This would be a list of each and every task that must be completed in order to produce the maximum results. By breaking down the objective into individual steps, it becomes more manageable.

Notice that achieving a major goal requires major planning. Have you already done your homework and feel completely prepared? Hopefully so. If not, take this week to build a plan for your future. It's well worth the effort!

SPREAD THE TABLE!

Here we are in the midst of the holiday rush - buying gifts, attending parties, decorating, sending cards, and preparing for the feast of the season. We're doing all this for whom?

We tell ourselves it's for the ones we love. We want to make them happy, fill them with joy, and make their world bright. We want to make everything perfect for them at this special time of year.

In a way, that's like preparing the holiday feast for those who matter most to us, then eating it for them and commenting on how tasty it was. Truth is - we can't "make them" do anything, we can only spread the table before them.

Whether they choose to consume the feast, or be happy doing it, is their choice - not ours. We can give the presents, offer our own good holiday spirit, or bake the cookies, but we cannot "make" anything happen.

Epictetus once said, "Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. If you think that you have free rein over things that are naturally beyond your control, or if you attempt to adopt the affairs of others as your own, your pursuits will be thwarted and you will become a frustrated, anxious, and fault-finding person."

Why not take a little of the pressure off yourself this holiday season? Feel free to give whatever gifts, energy, creativity, or love you have to offer, but let go of the desire to control the outcome. The gifts that will make the most difference are those that arise from the heart with no expectation of reward.

My wish for you is the joy and freedom that results from giving. Happy Holidays and Best Wishes to you and yours!