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PLAY THE FAMILY GAME!

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY!

"It is of immense importance to learn to laugh at ourselves."

- Katherine Mansfield


PLAY THE FAMILY GAME!

Feel like you're losing touch with your children? Wish you understood your spouse better? Want to enjoy closer family ties without the background noise of X-Box games or loud music?  Does everyone seem to scatter the moment their last bite of food is swallowed? Introduce them to "the family game!"

It's a fun way to bring your family together at the dinner table and keep them there - without complaints.  Furthermore, you'll soon have them willingly sharing their dreams, disappointments, likes & dislikes, interests, successes, and innermost thoughts.  Finally, you will have created a new family tradition your children will delight in passing on to their own families.

Introduce your version of the family game at the end of a dinnertime meal when everyone is present.  Don't make a big production of it, just ask everyone to remain at the table.  Tell them you've heard of a fun game and would like to play it with them.  Explain that each person at the table gets one turn (and only one turn).  You begin by asking a question that everyone, including yourself, has to answer.  For instance, your question might be, "What's the most embarrassing moment you've ever had?"  Go around the table and let each family member contribute.

Once everyone answers, let the person at your left ask the next question.  It might be, "What's the worst birthday present you've ever received?" or maybe, "If you could go back in the past and live in a different time, when would it be and why?"  You'll be amazed at the sharing your family will suddenly experience. 

Once the "family game" becomes a regular part of meals, add this twist:  Before being seated, tell family members that they may sit in any seat at the table except their normal seat.  The catch is that they must also "act" like the person normally seated in the chair they choose.  This can produce hilarious results.

If your family seems fragmented and scattered, play "the family game."  It's a natural for bringing joy, depth, communication and understanding back to your loved ones.

Replacement Therapy

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

 

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY!

"Fear knocked at the door, faith answered. No one was there."

- Unattributed


REPLACEMENT THERAPY!

Ever received one of those emails that contains a touching message, then suggests that if you forward it to ten more people you'll receive a "special blessing" or "ten million dollars in three days"?  It usually also warns that the last person who didn't forward it met some terrible fate at the hands of unknown evil-doers.  Remember how that last part - the veiled threat - made you feel?  You didn't think something awful would really happen, but you resented being put in the position of wondering.

We've been told many times that our worst fears are of the "unknown."  An unidentified fear sends our imagination into high gear, conjuring up vivid mental pictures of dastardly plots against us.  We ruminate endlessly over the possibilities.  Such fear is disruptive to our well-being, and leaves us tired and wrung-out.

So, how do you handle fear?  One method is to identify the fear, so that once you do, it is no longer "unknown." That also means it is measurable, and can be logically quantified.  Once you know what it is, your imagination can no longer dream up worse things that it is not.  Once identified, it is possible to determine possible outcomes.

Most fears will never come to fruition.  Those that do are divided into two categories: those we can control, and those we can't.  If we have control, we also have the ability to survive our fears, and change their outcomes.  Most fall into that category.

One mother's lifelong advice to her daughter who worried too much was to replace the worry thought with another more pleasant thought.  The opposite of fear is hope, which also gives us courage.  The next time you experience fear of the unknown, try replacement therapy.  Think positive, hopeful thoughts when fear knocks at the door.  Then, when you open the door - no one is there!

Self Promotion

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference."

- Robert Frost


FORGET THE LEADER!

On the playground of any school, and on any day, you can witness examples of children playing "follow the leader." One hops, skips, or jumps, and all the others follow. As adults, however, many of those children play a variation of that game - called "follow the follower."

On the job, they look around, see how someone else is doing their work, and duplicate the effort. What they don't realize is that their fellow employee is also watching someone else. A circular game of "follow the follower" evolves, resulting in a mediocre work force. The same can be true in marriages, education, hobbies, and sports.

Consider the story of a telephone operator in a small town. Every day she received a call from a gentleman asking for the correct time. Finally, one day, she asked the mystery caller who he was and why he called every day. His answer? "I'm the one who blows the whistle at the factory each day at noon. I like to be right on time!" The operator laughed and then responded, "Here at the telephone company, we set our watches and clocks by the noon whistle at the factory!"

Tired of playing follow the follower? Want to rejuvenate your life? Begin acting like the unique person you already are. See what everyone else is doing . . . and do something different. Strike out in the direction of your own imagination instead of theirs.

In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."

 

 

 

Forget the Leader!

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference."

- Robert Frost


FORGET THE LEADER!

On the playground of any school, and on any day, you can witness examples of children playing "follow the leader." One hops, skips, or jumps, and all the others follow. As adults, however, many of those children play a variation of that game - called "follow the follower."

On the job, they look around, see how someone else is doing their work, and duplicate the effort. What they don't realize is that their fellow employee is also watching someone else. A circular game of "follow the follower" evolves, resulting in a mediocre work force. The same can be true in marriages, education, hobbies, and sports.

Consider the story of a telephone operator in a small town. Every day she received a call from a gentleman asking for the correct time. Finally, one day, she asked the mystery caller who he was and why he called every day. His answer? "I'm the one who blows the whistle at the factory each day at noon. I like to be right on time!" The operator laughed and then responded, "Here at the telephone company, we set our watches and clocks by the noon whistle at the factory!"

Tired of playing follow the follower? Want to rejuvenate your life? Begin acting like the unique person you already are. See what everyone else is doing . . . and do something different. Strike out in the direction of your own imagination instead of theirs.

In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."

The Meaning of Poverty

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

"The man who dies rich, dies disgraced."

- Andrew Carnegie

THE MEANING OF POVERTY!

A colleague passed this delightful story along:

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how much poverty exists in the world. They spent several days and nights on the farm of a very poor family.

Upon their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" The son's answer? "It was great, Dad!" "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son continued, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon."

His son added, "We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who work for us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, and they have friends to protect them."

With this the boy's father was speechless. Then his son finally said, "Thanks Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don't have. What is one person's worthless object is another's prize possession. It is all based on one's perspective. It makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for the bounty we have, instead of worrying about wanting more. Take joy in all you have, especially your friends.

 

Make a Pain-Free Resolution!

by Jay Patel

 

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

"We shall do much in the years to come, but what have we done today?
We shall give our gold in a princely sum, but what did we give today?
We shall lift the heart and dry the tear,
We shall plant a hope in the place of fear,
we shall speak the words of love and cheer, but what did we speak today?"

- Nixon Waterman


MAKE A PAIN-FREE RESOLUTION!

So . . . we're into the second day of our new year.  How are your new year's resolutions holding up?  You've added some new ones, and rejuvenated the one from last year about losing weight.  You've got some big plans for this year.

Having major goals like increasing sales, saving for a big trip, or buying a new vehicle is admirable. They'll require considerable time and effort to pull off, but think how good you'll feel when you achieve them.  Now, why not add a few small ones to your list - the ones that require no effort.

First, add praise to your list. Praise comes in small packages.  A simple "thank you" to a clerk or friend is praise for their help.  A simple pat on the back accompanied by "You're the best!" will brighten someone's entire day.

Next, give something away every day. That something might only be a spare 25¢ dropped in a jar at the convenience store for a local burn victim.  It might be an item of clothing rescued from the back corner of your closet.  It might be two hours of your time at a local soup kitchen.  No matter what the gift, add this habit to your daily activities.  At the end of the year, you will have affected many lives.

Send a smile toward those who frown. Talk positively to those who would rain on your parade.  Say "Yes!" when asked for a favor.  Kiss your loved ones like you mean it.  Ask a friend, "Is there anything I can do for you?" or "How can I help?"

Keep it simple, but do it often - and keep it to yourself.  A year from now it will be impossible to tally the impact you have had on your world.  Isn't it about time we all made this resolution?    

 

 

Learning to Fly!

by Jay Patel

 

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY!

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have known, and are about to step out into darkness, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen - there will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."

- "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach


LEARNING TO FLY!

In the 1930's and 1940's, there were numerous women's magazines.  Ladies' Home Journal and Good Housekeeping were two of them.  They showed women in the role of the day - housekeeping.  They suggested the number of times per week the home should be dusted, scrubbed, organized, and otherwise kept spotless.  They suggested ways to look good when the "man of the house" arrived home from a tough day at the office.  In short, those magazines and their publishers set up an impossible regimen of expectations for their readers.

Many of us know women who have spent much of their lives trying to live up to the model housewife role prescribed by those magazines.  The trouble is, many of them have (or had) dreams of their own, like wanting to write, or to travel, or to participate in the freedoms only men then enjoyed.

Today, any of us can achieve our dreams.  All too often, however, we are still denied our destiny by the expectations set by others.  We are bombarded by radio, TV, CD, DVD, and WWW messages that insist we follow their example, their guidelines, or their models.  We allow our dreams to wither and die - waiting in line for their turn to blossom - never receiving the water of encouragement needed to grow and bloom.

What about your dreams?  Need some encouragement to help you "think outside the box?"  Begin by spending time with others who have already achieved their dreams. Leave your nay-sayer acquaintances behind.  Read inspiring biographies.  Pick up a copy of "Think & Grow Rich" or "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."  If you haven't yet learned to "fly," pick up "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" or "Illusions" by Richard Bach.

As Jonathan says in the book, "Don't believe what your eyes are telling you.  All they show is limitation.  Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly!"  

 

The Sky is Falling...Not!

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."

- James B. Cabell

THE SKY IS FALLING . . . NOT! !

"The glass is half-full." "The glass is half-empty." "Looks like a beautiful day!" "I think it's going to rain." "I'm happy." "I'm depressed." "I'm an optimist!" "How can you be an optimist with things the way they are?"

OK, we all know the difference between an optimist and a pessimist - right? In some of Steven Covey's material, he states that "no one knows enough to be a pessimist." Pessimism, more often than not, is generated by inner fears, most likely fears "of the unknown." Hence, "No one knows enough to be a pessimist."

Consider the child about to learn the art of riding a bike. "I know I'm going to fall," proclaims the child - just before taking a skinned knee. After a week of practice, is the child still fearful? Once bike riding becomes second nature, i.e. once the child "knows" enough about bike riding, the fear (a.k.a. pessimism) disappears.

Just as the child's pessimism ("I'm going to fall...") precedes the skinned knee, our other pessimistic thoughts may precede our worst fears. By substituting a positive thought for a negative one, therefore, is it not possible that the action that follows might also be positive?

Add to that positive thought an extra measure of learning and knowledge, and it's highly unlikely there will continue to be room for either the pessimism or the subsequent negative action. From one optimist to another, heed this advice: "Don't worry - be happy

 

No Mickey Mouse Story!

by Jay Patel

 

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

"Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them."- Marcel Proust

NO MICKEY MOUSE STORY!

While watching a Disney re-telling of the well-known "A Christmas Carol," one of the scenes was striking.  Scrooge McDuck (a.k.a. Ebenezer Scrooge) was being taken on a tour of his past by Jiminy Cricket (the Ghost of Christmas Past).  As Scrooge glimpsed himself at an early age, losing the love of "Isabel Duck" as he paid closer attention to his piles of money, he couldn't stand the pain of his past.

Scrooge lamented to Jiminy Cricket to "Take me home. I can no longer stand these memories!"  It was Jiminy's reply that brought a powerful lesson forward.  He explained, "Remember Scrooge, you fashioned these memories yourself."

Of course, we all have missed an opportunity at one time or another to craft a positive memory for someone we love.  If we think about it very much, we will wish we had done things differently.  But that's not the point.

If it is indeed we ourselves who fashion life's memories, then we also have the power to fashion good ones - beginning now.  It is what we do NOW to craft a special memory for others that will last far beyond tomorrow.  During this magical season of giving, why not create a forever "Kodak moment" for someone you love?  To coin a familiar song title: "Memories are made of this!"

 

Small World!

by Jay Patel

Monday Morning Coffee

INSPIRATION FOR TODAY:

Today's true story is all the inspiration you will need!


Small World!

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry to reopen a church in urban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc. and on Dec. 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On Dec 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm - hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church.

His heart sunk when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 6 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in.

One of the items was a beautiful, hand-made, ivory colored, crochet table cloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers etc. to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "Where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home - that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving. The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to the one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a concentration camp. He never saw his wife or his home again for all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door, and saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

A true story

 

Displaying blog entries 1-10 of 180

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Jay Patel
RE/MAX Professionals
15003 W. Bell Road, Suite 100
Surprise AZ 85374
(623) 451-0443
Fax: (623) 321-0165